I don't usually arrange sex via text message
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
