if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
