Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
