I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
