so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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