SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
