Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
