Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
