Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
