i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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