Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
