Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
