Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
