I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
