In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
