Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
