I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
