So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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