We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
