all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
