I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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