if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm always down for nudity.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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