@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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