The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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