she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
