Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
