Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
