period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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