Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
