I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
