i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
