how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I came so hard my ears popped.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
