i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
