I'm lost and stupid without you.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
