it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
