One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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