Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
