there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
