Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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