1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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