Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
