She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
