But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
