My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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