We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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