If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My bed smells like the plague
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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