Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
