You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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