I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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