I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
