I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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